Monday, 31 December 2007

2008

I suppose that writing is much the same as any other industry, inasmuch as it’s about marketing and selling a commodity. The problem as far as I’m concerned is that that commodity is me. And I am very very shit at selling myself. I half suspect that I should be drawing up corporately inspired fluff such as mission statements, career trajectories, six monthly action plans, blah de blah. However, last time I looked I wasn’t a corporation – I’m the equivalent of a small, overstocked second hand bookshop run by an eye-spinning drunk.

With the above in mind, perhaps it’s a good thing to confront whatever it is that frightens the absolute bejaysus out of you – with this in mind, here’s my attempt at an action plan for 2008 (my current one is scribbled on the back of a Poundland receipt for four cans of Kestrel lager).

* Hang in at METLAB until I get hospitalised.

* Consider exchanging my 5 string Warwick bass for something with 4 strings. When you’re playing acoustically, you can’t hear that big ass low end at all, which rather makes that fifth string redundant. I looked at an acoustic bass this year, but it seemed vaguely hippyish, so that idea got knocked on the head very quickly. Perhaps it’s about time I opted for the double bass - a real man's instrument.

* Finally bring myself to watch Shooter, if only for the fact that my nephew can then remove it to a place where it can’t do any lasting harm.

* Go for that elusive 50 press-up mark. Currently on 44 before I have to go to hospital to have my heart re-started.

* Get something into BBC Writersroom along with 10,000,000 other hopefuls.

And on that ambition-free note, Happy New Year! See you on the other side...

11 comments:

Lianne said...

Happy New Year!

Chip Smith said...

Hi Lianne, and the same straight back at you!

Oli said...

Happy New Year! Re: Shooter; don't watch it, and say you did. You'll be much happier.

Chip Smith said...

Happy New Year, Oli.

I took your most sage advice on Death Proof, so I suspect I will be following suit on this one as well (subject to negotiation, of course - my nephew says Shooter is 'awesome' - I'm guessing he's probably wrong)

Elinor said...

Hanging in there also on the Metlab front but will probably give the press-up thing a miss. Is Shooter a Jason Statham sort of film?

Chip Smith said...

The jury's still out on whether press ups are good for me or not, so I always do them with my handy defibrillator to hand!

Shooter stars Mark Wahlberg, and is very definitely a 'boy's film' (according to my wife). Oli says its rubbish, so who am I to disagree (especially as his review of Death Proof convinced me not to see it, thereby saving me fifteen quid)?

Just thinking - another resolution is to see if I can get a photo in my Blogger profile - jiggered if I know how to do it tho'!

SHEIKSPEAR said...

Hi Chip, thanks for dropping by my new blog to say hi & thanks for the logline vote - I loved the protag's name on your logline...
...Chris(topher) Mass
Good luck with those press ups - but the decimal point was in the wrong place - I'm like you; my New year ambition is to get to 5.0 press ups as I, too, am currently struggling at 4.4...

Chip Smith said...

Christopher Mass = Quater's little brother = my first bad Nigel Kneale related joke of 2008! (and there's plenty more where that came from).

Lucy said...

I have no fecking idea who Nigel wotsit is. I'm ashamed to say I didn not get the joke until Sheiky said Chip!

Feedback on all the entries is now up btw. Oh and got your metlab script thanks. SWOT! ; )

Chip Smith said...

Nigel Kneale is the creator of Quatermass and the uncredited writer of the screenplay for Halloween III, one of the most demented movies ever made. Try this link for some further info, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised...

http://www.nigelkneale.cwc.net/television.htm#top

Ta for the METLAB acknowledgement - with the year I've had so far (and it's only three days old), I thought I'd better get it in pronto just in case something else disastrous happens (oh, and I'm a swot as well).

Thanks very much for the feedback on the logline - I tried to keep to the 25 word limit so something was going to suffer I think. Anyway, for an idea that took 15 minutes to come up with, I didn't think it was bad! Next year, I'll got the cuddly, animated vote ;-)

Lucy said...

Welcome Chip. And I already knew you were a swot anyway so don't know why I was surprised ; )

I LOVE Quatermas! Yet another illustration of how little attention writers' names get - even by writers. Shame on me.