I had an interesting conversation with someone on Monday comparing the relative merits of Funny Games and Ratatouille (believe it or not) – the only problem being that we couldn’t really discuss Funny Games as my friend had walked out of the cinema halfway through (a perfectly reasonable course of action to take, in my view). Which got me thinking – watching terminal guff such as Hannibal Rising, I’ve been sorely tempted not only to walk out of the cinema, but to hunt down Thomas Harris and Peter Webber and give them both a good slap round the back of the legs for wasting my valuable time and money. And there’s the rub – I didn’t walk out; I’m far too tight for that. I’ve paid my money, and I’m going to stay to the bitter end, regardless of how completely rubbish things get! That said, I’ve been at the cinema when people have walked out – most notably during Existenz. Some guy at the back of the cinema shouted, ‘Mother!’ halfway through, got up and left, never to return.
The other problem I have with cinema going is general incompatibility – I used to go out with a girl who dragged me to see Top Gun. For the sweet love of Christ! I think this was her revenge for me dragging her to see After Hours (which of course is a bonafide masterpiece, although I can see why some people wouldn’t like it).
That said, I’m considering going to see Alvin and the Chipmunks just so I can say that I have actually walked out of something.
Greetings!
- Chip Smith
- Brighton, United Kingdom
- "We are buried beneath the weight of information, which is being confused with knowledge; quantity is being confused with abundance and wealth with happiness. Leona Helmsley’s dog made 12 million last year... and Dean McLaine, a farmer in Ohio, made $30,000. It’s just a gigantic version of the madness that grows in every one of our brains. We are monkeys with money and guns." Tom Waits
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12 comments:
Hello my child.
I'm really glad to see you post about your enjoyment of movies. Movies are a fun recreational use of time. I realize things are going well for you and I'm glad to hear it! Please continue spreading the love!
P.S. I'd hate to hear that you walk on on a movie, the prices these days are so high!
Thanks God, and thanks for stopping by my humble abode - oh, a quick request: I'm sure it's within your considerable power to ensure that Thomas Harris never writes another film script. It's not that much to ask, I think - I'm sure the entire population of planet Earth would rejoice if you could fix this.
Walked out of Punch Drunk Love and Team America: World Police. There's a broad spectrum of stuff I don't like.
I walk out of everything cos I never pay to go to the movies. Ever. I love my press pass, baby. Plays havoc with writing reviews and whatnot though.
Lucy - well, get you with your press pass! Wish I'd had one for Hannibal Rising - that said, someone else paid that night, but it would've been a bit mean to walk out and leave them in there. I considered walking out of the Golden Compass, but resigned myself to making smart arse comments to anyone who would listen - not big and not clever, but at least it kept me sane 'til the damn thing was over.
Well actually it was a slight fib, I don't have a "real" press pass but I DO have lots of journo friends who can't be arsed to watch ALL the movies they're supposed to so I pretend to be them and go instead of them... I then tell them what happens...Up to the point I walked out.
In that case, aren't you tempted to be a little 'economic' with the truth? I know I would be: "OK, Funny Games, right? It's set in Milton Keynes and Godzilla's in it..."
Films I have walked out of fairly recently include The Da Vinci Code, Postal and In Search Of A Midnight Kiss. Admittedly, that last one was only because I'd sat down in the wrong screening room and was expecting a slasher flick called Timber Falls.
I often take pleasure in fellow screening/cinema-goers walking out of movies I'm watching. Half the press crowd walked out of the excellent Funny Games, at the screening I went to. And I have fond memories of the late Evening Standard film critic Alexander Walker living up to his name by strolling briskly out of Jason X, following a particularly nasty neck-snap.
Surely it's irresponsible for film critics to walk out of movies? Not to speak ill of the dead, but isn't it then even more irresponsible to give said film a sniffy review?
Alexander Walker's Jason X write-up just lists the basic premise and then says we can "imagine the rest". Much like he did, I assume.
Jason: The Da Vinci Code really is one of the most tedious things I've ever seen, I don't blame you for walking out one iota. That said, I'm more inclined to lose patience with a DVD (and besides, it's cheaper than walking out of a cinema!). I fast forwarded through the whole of Run Lola Run, and gave up on L'Appartement and La Haine well within 30 minutes. Even so, I think you need a screw loose to walk out of Funny Games.
That's very amusing about Alexander Walker, as he was a huge Kubrick cheerleader, wasn't he? -Kubrick not being averse to a bit of bloodletting when the mood took him...
... AND Kubrick never made a film as fine as Jason X*.
* Only semi-ironic.
I 'walk out of' DVDs all the time. I'm less forgiving with advancing years. If my mind wanders, then out comes that disc. This happens a lot: generally around the end of Act One.
I never actually saw Walker's review of Jason X. But frankly, the fact he went on to review it doesn't surprise me at all.
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