Friday, 17 August 2007

Blue Cat E-mail Tirade

Oops. I've just upset Gordy Hoffman (which means I'll have to shelve my Blue Cat acceptance speech for next year. Remember KLF playing the Brits a few years back with Extreme Noise Terror and an artfully placed dead sheep? It would've looked a bit like that).

I've just received feedback on an additional script I submitted to Blue Cat back in February and subsequently forgot all about it (which is the best way to be with competitions I think). On 15th August, a good few weeks after the top ten per cent, finalists and winners had been announced, my own feedback limps into my in-box.

Despite the fact that I'd forgotten all about the entry, I wasn't too impressed with this, so sent Gordy an email in which I threw my toys out of my pram plus a few more besides. This provoked a response from Gordy in which he basically bitch slapped me and told me to shut it - which, come to think of it, was a pretty fair response. Gordy stated that if I was dissatisfied with anything Blue Cat had done this year, then I could have a free entry next year. Very considerate (especially once you factor in my insulting email) - however, after my tirade, I don't think I'm welcome in the esteemed Blue Cat neighbourhood, so I shall slink off, all chastened and ashamed...

Anyway, the upshot of this is that Gordy sent me the marking criteria that Blue Cat use, which is reproduced below:

STORY
CHARACTERIZATION
DIALOGUE
DESCRIPTION
CLARITY
ORIGINALITY

They mark each script out of 60, 10 for each category. My second script scored 26 (43%, good enough for an A level!), with a '2' for characterization! Wow. The winner scored 58 (which meant that the winner was more than twice as good as my own script!).

In comparison, I saw The Bourne Ultimatum last night, and using the Blue Cat marking criteria above (and, of course, my own rigorous standards of critique), I gave it a mark of 21 - which makes it a load of old flapdoodle in my book. And don't get me started on The Walker, Paul Schrader's latest. Perhaps I ought to send him an email to see if I can upset him as well...

4 comments:

Lucy said...

Wow, the idea of Gordy Hoffman "bitch slapping" you has conjured up quite an image...

Chip Smith said...

And it wasn't very pleasant either - in addition, I actually had to (I have problems typing the following word) APOLOGISE. Oh, the horror...

Chip Smith said...

Hang on a minute, perhaps it was a pimp slap - I can't remember...

Gordy Hoffman said...

I didn't know I bitch slapped you, but if I did, that's pretty cool, I didn't know I could do that. LOL Found your blog and wanted to let you know you are welcome at BlueCat forever! You have the free entry next year! PS Thanks for your fair reaction. :)